Prüfungsstress
Mittwoch 16. Dezember 2009 von Gintoki
Mal wieder ein kurzer Erlebnisbericht über den gestrigen Tag.
Wieso müssen Führerscheinprüfungen eigentlich immer vormittags stattfinden? Zunehmend verstärkt sich bei mir das Gefühl, jede Autorität – und es gibt nicht wenige Verrückte, die sich für eine solche halten - ist dem Glauben verpflichtet, ihr Aktionsradius wäre der Nabel der Welt. Ob es nun der Fußballtrainer ist, der vergisst, dass seine Kreisliga-Kicker nicht unbedingt für den Aufwand bezahlt werden und auch dementsprechend humanere Ansprüche gestellt bekommen sollten. Ob es nun der Lehrer ist, der so viele Hausaufgaben aufgibt, als gäbe es kein Morgen und erst recht keine anderen Fächer. Oder eben der Führerscheinprüfer, der die Prüfung unbedingt vormittags in die Zeit der Englisch-Klausur verlegen muss, damit er während der 45 Minuten von Vorfreude erfüllt mit dem Fahrlehrer seine Nachmittagsplanung besprechen kann.
Natürlich erachten sowohl der Englisch-Lehrer als auch der Führerscheinprüfer ihr jeweiliges Vorhaben für derartig wichtig, dass keiner von beiden bereit war, nachzugeben und seinen Termin ein wenig zu verschieben. Glücklicherweise zeigte zumindest der Lehrer gegenüber diesem armen Burschen, dessen bescheidenes Bedürfnis aus nichts weiterem als eine wöchentliche Ration seines Lieblings-Animes besteht, ein wenig Einsicht und erlaubte diesem großmütig, schon um 7:30 statt um 8:00 mit der Klausur beginnen zu dürfen, um es noch halbwegs zeitlich zum Treffen um 9:45 zu schaffen. 7:30! Welch ein Humanist. Dennoch vielen Dank dafür. Zwar hatte ich nichtsdestotrotz eine knappe Stunde weniger Zeit zur Verfügung als sonst, aber da dies gefühlt ohnehin bei jeder Klausur der Fall ist, möchte ich nicht von einem Wettbewerbsnachteil und dem dringenden Bedarf, lockerer vom Lehrer bewertet zu werden, sprechen. Ganz abgesehen davon, dass der Lehrer ganz optimistisch zugab, er selbst könnte um diese Uhrzeit – zur Erinnerung: halb acht – gar nicht schreiben. Und es sollte nicht lange dauern, bis ich feststellte: Ich auch nicht.
Er bot mir noch an, in einem Nebenraum zu schreiben, da die Mitschüler mich stören könnten, wenn sie in einer halben Stunde den Raum betreten würden. Dankend lehnte ich ab und entschied mich für den die Anwesenheit der anderen. Geteiltes Leid ist eben halbes Leid.
Voll motiviert und hellwach kaute ich auf meiner Zyankali-Kapsel rum und holte mein Exemplar der englischen Novelle “Moon Palace” hervor. Der Zustand dieses Schinkens ließ auf eine Folterung schließen, wobei dieses Verhältnis zwischen mir und den 304 Seiten pure Niedertracht auf Gegenseitigkeit beruhte. Ich schlug erst ein und dann auf – nämlich Seite 180, das Thema der Klausur.
Ich verstehe das. Wenn man das Buch im Unterricht nur bis zur Seite 150 behandelt hat, dann ist es nur konsequent, die Seite 180 als Thema dranzunehmen. Nachdem ich beim zweiten Überlegen festgestellt hatte, dass es vielleicht doch nicht ganz so klug wie zuerst gedacht wäre, mal kurz 30 Seiten eines Buches durchzulesen, das in einer Zähigkeit geschrieben ist, bei der selbst Schiller vor Neid erblasst wäre, versuchte ich unter Verwendung meiner intellektuell-improvisatorischen Fähigkeiten und Berücksichtigung des bisherigen Geschichtsverlaufes zu rekonstruieren, was wohl so passiert sein möge: Nichts.
Na ja, drei Aufgaben hingerotzt und mich dann auf den Weg gemacht. An der Fahrschule traf ich mich mit meinem Fahrlehrer und dann ging es zum TÜV der Nachbarstadt, wo aus unerfindlichen Gründen die Prüfung stattfinden sollte. Vorteilhaft war es natürlich nicht, dort zu fahren, wo man sich überhaupt nicht auskennt. Glücklicherweise stellte sich der Verkehr aber als einigermaßen günstig heraus.
Der Prüfer erwartete uns schon und ich konnte direkt anfangen. Nervös war ich überhaupt nicht, schließlich hing mein Leben nicht davon ab, ob ich an diesem Tag den Führerschein nach Hause bringen würde oder nicht. Nur die Fahrstunden gingen mir auf die Nerven und wollte ich drigend loswerden. Dennoch gab ich mein Bestes, so zu tun, als sei ich furchtbar angespannt gewesen, um Subjektivität beim Prüfer zu erzeugen und den Anschein zu erwecken, als könnte ich es ansonsten besser und um etwaige Fehler mit dem Prüfungsstress zu begründen. Wahrlich eine schauspielerische Meisterleistung, inklusive derart tiefem Durchatmen, als stünde ich vor einem asthmatischen Anfall. Ich gab mir alle Mühe, Darth Vader zu imitieren.
Und so konnte ich meine generelle Unfähigkeit am Steuer auch weitesgehend gut verbergen, nur als er mich schon kurz nach dem Fahrtbeginn fragte, ob ich denn eine Brille bräuchte, war ich kurz irritiert. So eine Frage bedeutet gegenüber einem Schiedsrichter normalerweise eine Rote Karte. Und die hatte mir mein Fahrlehrer, voller Vertrauen in meiner Person, im Vorfeld oft genug angekündigt. Verdammt, erst angefangen und schon direkt was übersehen? Mit “ich habe Kontaktlinsen” hatte ich aber die richitge Antwort gegeben und war enorm erleichtert, als er dies in sein Formular eintrug. Man hätte die Frage auch eindeutiger stellen können, aber das ist wohl so die Art von Humor, die die haben.
Die beiden führten die ganze Zeit über ein völlig belangloses Gespräch über Motorräder und Weihnachtsmärkte und unterbrachen dieses ab und zu, um ein bisschen rumzuschreien, wie viele Zentimeter ich vom Rechtsfahrgebot abgewichen wäre, wie viele Kilometer weit entfernte Vehikel ich hätte anfahren und wie viele gefleckte Fliegen ich hätte übersehen können. Ich finde es immer wieder höchst bemerkenswert, wie Leute in ihrer ganzen neurotischen Paranoia, die sie sich in all den Berufsjahren aufgebaut haben müssen, hinter jedem Ziegelstein die Apokalypse vermuten. So wie die sich aufgeführt haben und so wie die, obwohl sich der vermeintlichen Gefahren bewusst, mich auch zu den entsprechenden Stellen geschickt haben, hätte ich ja vorsätzliche Schädigung meiner Person oder gar eine Verschwörung vermuten und schon nach wenigen Metern mit einem lauten “Lebend kriegt ihr mich nicht!” in Hollywood-Manier aus dem Wagen hechten müssen.
Jedenfalls konnte ich die 45 Minuten irgendwie doch über die Bühne schaukeln, ohne jemanden umzufahren – angesichts der ganzen Gefahren eine beachtenswerte Leistung, wie ich finde. Mein Fahrlehrer wollte wieder zig Fehler gesehen haben und sie dem Prüfer noch mal vor Augen führen, dieser hatte jedoch keine Lust, verzichtete darauf und händigte mir die Bescheinigung für das Bestehen der Prüfung aus, bevor er es sich noch mal anders überlegt hätte.
Mein Fahrlehrer brachte mich zum TÜV meiner Heimatstadt zurück, um meinen Führerschein abzuholen. Natürlich nicht, ohne mir ausführlich erläutert zu haben, wie unverdient mein Bestehen ist und wie sehr der Prüfer mich hätte durchfallen lassen müssen, wenn er nur mal ein wenig auf mein Fahren geachtet hätte. Der Kerl machte keinen Hehl daraus, dass er von mir überhaupt nicht überzeugt ist und mich auch ziemlich ungerne unterrichtet, daher müsste er eigentlich froh darüber sein, mich los zu sein. Stattdessen hatte er noch versucht, dem Prüfer einzureden, mich nicht bestehen zu lassen. Wahrscheinlich hat er mich einfach zu lieb und sich noch nicht von mir trennen wollen. Kann ich verstehen. Macht wohl zu viel Spaß, jede Fahrstunde wegen jedem Hinz und Kunz über mich rumzumeckern.
Wieso auch immer musste mein Fahrlehrer auch noch direkt vom TÜV los und hat es nicht mal für nötig befunden, mich zumindest noch zur Fahrschule zurückzubringen. Gut, dass es nur drei Haltestellen bis zu mir nach Hause waren und ich weder Ticket noch Geld, um eines zu erwerben, bei mir hatte. Und so durfte ich zur Krönung noch eine kleine Odysee einlegen.
Hach, da nutzte auch ein Führerschein nichts.
Dieser Beitrag wurde erstellt am Mittwoch 16. Dezember 2009 und abgelegt unter Aus dem Leben, Satire. Du kannst einen Kommentar schreiben, oder einen Trackback auf deiner Seite einrichten.
Mittwoch 16. Dezember 2009 um 01:03
Na dann mal: herzlichen Glückwunsch! Ach, meine Führerscheinprüfungen(!) waren eher andersrum. Der Fahrlehrer war verständnisvoller als der Prüfer -_-. TMSIDR[Kommentar zitieren]
Mittwoch 16. Dezember 2009 um 15:40
Jup Glückwunsch zur bestandenen Führerscheinprüfung. Bei dem Fahrlehrer fast ein Wunder. (War das echt keine Satire ? xDD, echtmal wie issn der drauf oô)
Jetzt haste ja dann wieder Zeit diverse Einträge zu verfassen oder gammlige Mails zu beantworten ^.^
Bald is auch schon Weihnachten. Und Ferienm, dann gibt auch keine Klausuren mehr für ne kleine Weile : D. Wuhu[Kommentar zitieren]
Mittwoch 16. Dezember 2009 um 21:00
Mein Beileid…
Und Glückwunsch!xD
Ich jedenfalls hatte sehr viel Spaß mit dem Artikel, auch wenn ich nicht weiß, ob das jetzt die richtigen Worte sind…^^ ZakuAbumi[Kommentar zitieren]
Donnerstag 17. Dezember 2009 um 00:12
Gratuliere zum Führerschein.
Das mit den Lehrern kenn ich.. ich meine, dass die immer alles möglichst früh machen wollen. Keine Ahnung was die sich davon versprechen, zumal sie selber ja nur rumsitzen während du dich voll konzentrieren sollst.
Ich bin immernoch der Meinung sowas sollte grundsätzlich erst nach dem Mittagessen erlaubt sein. DaRuX[Kommentar zitieren]
Donnerstag 17. Dezember 2009 um 00:41
Danke, Leute! XD
Ja, mein Fahrlehrer war tatsächlich so seltsam. Der Führerschein kommt erst mal in den Tresor, nicht dass der noch nachts vorbeikommt und ihn mir wegnimmt. -_-
Diese Woche muss ich noch zwei Klausuren schaffen, danach winkt die Freiheit. :3
Ab dem Wochenende werde ich also wieder ein wenig aktiver werden. ;) Gintoki[Kommentar zitieren]
Donnerstag 5. April 2012 um 08:37
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